Finding My Forever Read online

  Katrina stepped into view as they moved to the front of the café. Allie stopped in her tracks, puzzled as she watched Braxton walk over to her. Braxton whispered something to her, then turned to the cashier to pay the bill. Katrina joined Allie where she had stopped.

  Allie took a step back, casting an accusing glare at Katrina. “You told him. You’re why he showed up.”

  “I was worried about you.”

  “You had no right,” her voice rose with her anger. Katrina looped her arm through Allie’s and pulled her toward the door, trying not to cause a scene.

  “I had every right, Allie. Look at what you’ve done to yourself. Someone has to make you see reason. Someone has to snap you out of this funk you’re in.”

  “Don’t be mad at her.” Braxton now stood behind Allie. She turned to him, realizing she’d been ambushed.

  “Don’t be mad at her? She betrayed my trust! And you, you went behind my back as well after I told you I didn’t want to bring you into this.”

  The anger mixed with hurt and pooled in her eyes. She didn’t bother wiping them away as they fell over onto her cheeks.

  “No, that’s where you’re wrong. Yes, she told me, but only because I asked her to. I was worried about you, we both are. She’s trying to save you from a world of hurt and the dark path you’re on. I told you the last time I saw you that I would be here for you, you shut me out yet again and left me no choice, but to find other means to make sure you were okay.”

  Allie wanted to argue, but she couldn’t. They were right and she knew it. That didn’t mean she liked it, but there was nothing she could say to prove a point that didn’t really exist. Braxton opened the passenger side door of Katrina’s car and motioned for Allie to get in. She reluctantly did so. The entire short ride back to her dorm, she wondered what was in store for her next. She wouldn’t have to wait long to find out.

  ∞ Chapter 17 ∞

  Katrina pulled the car into a parking space not far from the doors. She left the car running and turned in her seat to Braxton.

  “I’m just going to go to the library and hang out. Take as much time as you need.”

  “Thank you,” he said, then opened the door of the car and stepped out. He offered Allie his hand after opening her door and helped her out of the car. She looked tired, like she was in a food coma. After the way she ate, he wouldn’t doubt it. He closed the door and gave a slight wave to Katrina as she back away from the dorm.

  Braxton followed behind Allie as she led the way to her room. Allie turned on the lamp next to her bed casting the room in a warm glow. The air, however, was thick with the tension they both felt.

  “Allie?” She turned and faced him, giving him her undivided attention, waiting for him to speak. “What’s been going on with you?”

  She blew out a breath and sank down onto the bed behind her. She buried her face in her hands.

  “So much,” she said, her voice muffled.

  Braxton crossed the room and sat back on his hunches in front of her. He lightly took hold of her arms, rubbing small comforting circles with the pads of his thumbs.

  “You used to tell me everything. I understand why you wanted to keep this from me, but it’s time you let me help you.”

  Looking up and meeting his eyes, her lips trembled as she said, “You have no idea what you’re asking for so I have to ask, why? Why do you want to help me so bad?”

  “Because I love you. I’ve loved you for so long. All of my life.”

  “I know.”

  “I don’t think you do, Allie. I don’t think you fully understand how deep you are embedded into my soul. How tightly you are wrapped around my heart. You’re my only one; you always have been. I’m completely in love with you.”

  Recognition crossed her face, her eyes pooled with tears as she gazed into Braxton’s warm eyes filled with honesty and love. She freed her arms from his hold and drew them up to her chest in an effort to hold the broken pieces in place. Braxton watched her intently and waited for her response. He watched the emotions play across her face. He prayed he hadn’t just ruined the one relationship he would have died for in order to keep.

  Moisture fell from her eye and she wiped it away, trying desperately to hold the tears back and keep them from falling.

  “I’m so broken, Brax,” she said as she tapped on her chest, a move designed to convey she meant all of her. There was nothing left untouched. “I’ve made a complete mess of my life. I’ve kept you at arm’s length, because I can’t destroy your life, you’re far too beautiful to become like me, empty, void, and a complete nothing.”

  If she was aiming to rip his heart apart, hearing her describe herself like that definitely succeeded in that task. It was almost more than he could bear to see herself through her own eyes.

  “You’re not broken, and you are something. You’re my everything-- the stars, moon, and sun. The very breath I take is all for you. My reason and purpose for being on this earth all comes back to you. I’ve tried to let you go, but it doesn’t work. So no, you are not broken, just the opposite. You just have a few cracks. Let me be the one that closes them.”

  Several silent minutes passed without a word. The only sounds were those of her sniffles and their erratic heartbeats. There was no change in her expression, only sorrow for breaking his heart, destroying his dream.

  “I can’t,” she stuttered, closing her eyes tight.

  He knew she was not changing her mind, thinking she was protecting him. Braxton could feel his heart splintering, his world shattering. He slumped his shoulders in defeat, he knew he’d lost the only girl he’d ever loved. Slowly, he stood, turned and forced his heavy limbs to walk to the door.

  His hand gripped the doorknob, his head bowed, “There’s never been, and there never will be anyone else. You are all I see. Broken or not, you’re all I’ve ever wanted.”

  He didn’t turn around, he simply opened the door and walked out. Allie had never seen him cry, even as kids he would hide it from her, always wanting to be strong for her, be her prince, her warrior. He didn’t want her to see him cry now. Braxton refused to look back as he made his way to front of the dorm, he knew it would only serve to cause him more pain. He’d have to message Katrina when he was free of the building.

  Stepping off the bottom stair and onto the walkway, he tapped out a message to Katrina. It was over. He’d fought and he had lost. Yes, he could have carried her out against her will, but really what would that have accomplished. There was nothing left to do but to try to move on. It wasn’t going to be easy, nor would it be quick, but he wouldn’t let it keep him down forever. He’d always love her, of that there was no doubt. As he’d once told Connor, she always sent him back with his tail tucked between his legs, this time would be the last. As much as he hated it, broke his spirit, and made him question everything in his life to this point, he’d do it. Not because she didn’t love him, but because he loved her more than any man has ever loved a woman.

  He perched on a huge boulder that sat in the center of a grassy area under some shade trees only a few feet from the dorm, waiting on Katrina. He needed to get out of here, away from the center of the pain. His knee was bouncing in time with his heart. Every muscle in his body ached and felt tired. His soul cried out for relief, his heart begged for mending. He knew time would be balm he needed to someday become once again whole. There would always be that part of him that would feel the loss of Allie, a part that would never fully heal.

  He could see Katrina’s red Toyota Camry turning into the entrance of the parking lot. He pushed off of the rock and stood, feeling just how weak his knees had become. He bounced on them to get the blood flowing before making the short trek to where Katrina had just parked her car. There would be no looking back, no last goodbye, no more chances to tell Allie he loved her. He’d just given it all he had. But at least she knew now just how much he was in love with her.

  “Braxton.”

  He turned at the sound of her voice. An angel
calling out to him. Allie stood at the base of the stairway. Her face was puffy and tear stained, but to Braxton, she had never been more beautiful, even in all her broken glory. He hooked his thumbs in the front pockets of his jeans, his eyes hopeful, yet full of questions. Allie took slow, deliberate steps towards him, which caused his heart to beat rapidly against his chest. When she was no more than a few feet away, she ran and threw herself into Braxton. He barely had enough time to unlatch his thumbs from his pockets, but he managed to free them in time to catch her. They held tightly to each other and Braxton began to wonder if this was their last goodbye. He tried to push her back enough so that he could look into her eyes for answers. He wanted to read the emotions she could never fully hide, but she tightened her grip around his neck.

  “I love you.”

  Those words halted Braxton’s movements, his hands becoming still on her shoulders. Hope flared to life inside of him.

  “You’ve been the only constant in my life. You have never let me down even when I didn’t deserve it. I can’t let you walk away because that would mean letting half of myself go. As much as I’ve told myself I don’t deserve you, and believe me, I know I don’t, I have been in love with you for as far back as I can remember. I’m scared, Brax, but I can’t live this life without you in it. I can’t let you walk away. I never wanted to bring you into this situation, but if you are all in, then so am I.”

  Braxton released his hold and leaned back. He glided his hands up along her arms until he reached her hands, bringing them down to his sides without breaking their hold. Allie’s terrified expression tore at his heart. He brought his hands up and cupped the soft flesh of her cheeks.

  “I’m all in.”

  With that, he crashed his lips against hers. Allie was stunned, but only for a split second. Her lips responded to his, and they moved together in a synchronized dance. This was their breath of life, a first kiss so long awaited.

  The heaven’s crashed together in the darkened clouds above them, yet for Braxton and Allie, the sun shone a light so bright between their joined souls. Rain had begun to pour down on them offering the ground a much needed drink, but the only drink they had needed came from each other. Both took as much as they gave. The fissures that had made them broken on their own had begun healing as they became one through that life altering kiss. One life, one soul, one heart, that would forever beat in a rhythm belonging only to them.

  ∞ Chapter 18 ∞

  The rain fell harder around them, soaking them. Braxton needed to get Allie inside before she wound up with a cold or worse. Glancing over his shoulder to where Katrina had parked, he didn’t see her in the car. Turning back to Allie, he took hold of her hand and he sprinted, pulling her along behind him to the dorm. Laughter bounced off of the walls and Braxton spun her around and into his arms. He pecked her lips in a light kiss, then led her to her room. They were like two love sick kids, soaked to the bone, but feeling completely free. They were very much aware there was still a lot to iron out, but the details could wait until later. For now, they were enjoying the moment.

  Katrina stood at the small kitchenette, coffee pot in hand. She waved it at the two love birds when they entered the room.

  “I hope that means you’re making coffee.”

  Braxton gave her his million-dollar smile.

  “What would have given you that idea? Sometimes I just like to stand here and hold the pot,” she smirked. Braxton shook his head and let out a quiet laugh.

  “You have to watch this one,” Allie said, tipping her head toward Katrina. “She’s got a smart comment for everything. I’ve yet to win one over on her.”

  “Well, when you’re born with this much sass, you’ve gotta let it out somewhere.”

  Allie picked up the small stuffed animal that was sitting atop her bedside table and chunked it at Katrina’s head.

  “I’m going to change.” She gathered some clothes from her dresser then stopped before entering the bathroom. “Braxton?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Did you even bring clothes with you? I know you came in here empty handed.”

  Braxton’s face flushed with embarrassment. “I was in a hurry when I left.”

  Allie placed her clothes on the counter in the bathroom, went back to her dresser pulling open the bottom drawer. She dug through its contents until she found what she was looking for. Standing, she held the items out for Braxton, pink tainted her cheeks.

  Braxton took the clothes from her outstretched hand and smiled when he recognized one of his t-shirts and his favorite pair of Alabama Crimson Tide sweats.

  “I wondered where these went to,” he mused.

  “I wanted to feel like you were with me,” she replied sheepishly.

  Braxton closed the distance between them and took her mouth with his, only stopping when Katrina blurted out, “Y’all need me to leave?”

  “Naw, you can stay if you want.”

  Face serious, he tried to maintain his composure, but the look on Katrina’s face was priceless. Her mouth hung wide open in shock, her green eyes were as big as saucers, and it seemed her entire body had turned to stone. Braxton and Allie laughed, a full on real gut wrenching laugh, and soon Katrina joined in with them.

  “I think you may have met your match. Score one for Brax,” Allie said to Katrina, then sashayed to the bathroom to change.

  Braxton changed after Allie was done and draped his clothes over the shower curtain rod to dry. His reflection stared back at him from the mirror and for the first time in a long time he saw life in his eyes. All the worry, doubt, and fear had dissipated leaving a brightness in his clear blue eyes. After all the blood, sweat, and tears, it had been worth it. There was still a lot of work to be done, but he vowed to himself, that every day he would do everything in his power to make her happy, make her want to stay. He’d never do anything to hurt her, or to make her regret the choice she made.

  Today was the first day of their forever, their very own love story. Smiling to himself, he rejoined the girls in the living room.

  “We were beginning to wonder if you fell in.” Katrina wasted no time picking on Braxton.

  He shook his head, smiling at her. He hadn’t known her long, but he was fairly certain they would remain life-long friends. Allie joined her friend in teasing him.

  “It’s a good thing he didn’t, I’m not sure what we’d do if he stopped up our only toilet. And however would we have gotten him out?”

  “Maybe he was just admiring his burly biceps.”

  Flexing his muscles in a show of machoism, “You mean these weapons of mass destruction?”

  That incited another round of laughter from both girls. Allie covered her mouth with her hands, trying not to snort.

  “Mass destruction? Only if by ‘mass destruction’ you mean a small scrape.”

  Allie snorted, then jumped up from the couch, running around the small room reaching up in the air several times grabbing at something invisible. Braxton looked on puzzled, and asked, “What the heck are you doing?”

  “I’m trying to catch your deflating ego.”

  This time it was Katrina, who tried to stifle her laughter. Allie stopped and looked at Braxton, a huge full toothy grin on display.

  Throwing his hands up in the air, “I give. You win.”

  “That means you get to pour the coffee. Cups are in the cabinet right there above the coffee pot,” she pointed. Katrina was still laughing, waving as only a pageant queen would, and took a seat on the couch next to Allie.

  The sun had set and Allie’s eyes grew heavy. Braxton knew the day had taken a toll on her. He scooped her up as if she weighed nothing and carried her to her bed. Pulling the blanket back, she crawled onto the soft mattress. She scooted to the far side of the twin bed and patted the space beside her. Braxton sat down next to her and reached over to gently move the hair off of her face, letting his fingers lightly trace down her cheek. Allie closed her eyes at his touch, her skin tingling in its wake. When she
felt him shift, her eyes opened.

  “Stay.”

  He didn’t have to think about it and toed his shoes off letting them drop the floor. Pulling his shirt over his head, he dropped it to meet his shoes. He lay down beside her, and she lifted enough for him to slide his arm underneath her. Curling into Braxton, she touched his stomach, letting her fingers explore every hard line and every dip in between. Her cheek felt warm against his bare chest and he pulled her tighter to his side. She tilted her head up and started to say something, but Braxton placed his finger over her lips.

  “Sleep, baby. We can talk in the morning.”

  Sighing contentedly, her eyes closed and she drifted into a deep sleep. Braxton held her, overjoyed at finally having her in his arms. She was his. Sleep didn’t come easily for him, because he didn’t want to miss a minute of this feeling. But soon, he closed his eyes no longer able to remain conscious.

  The early morning dawn had broken about an hour ago. Braxton slowly moved his arm out from under her, not wanting to wake her. Allie looked so peaceful. In her sleep, worry nor fear for tomorrow existed. He would see to it that she never faced another worry, fear, or day alone. Picking up his discarded shirt, he pulled it over his head, leaned over and lightly kissed her forehead. Coffee was a must this morning. He tiptoed to the kitchenette to make a pot.

  Cup in hand, he stood in front of the window looking out over the campus. The sky was blue, all clouds from last night’s storms gone. A new day, a new start, a new chance at making the best of the cards they had been dealt. He sensed her before she even touched him. Hands rubbed up and down his back leaving a trail of heat in their path. Embracing him around his waist, he tucked her into his side.

  “Would you like some coffee? We have to talk about our next move and where we go from here.”

  “Yeah, if it’s about to get heavy I may need more than one cup.”