Finding My Forever Read online

  There was a knock on the door. Braxton pulled the comforter up higher above his head. “Go away,” he muttered. Whoever was at the door obviously wasn’t going to give up as the knocking turned to banging. “Alright already, I’m up!” Braxton slung the covers to the floor and got out of the bed. A scowl was firmly planted on his face. He swung the door open, “What?”

  “Well, good morning to you, too.”

  “This better be important, Connor. I’m kind of busy.”

  “Considering you are standing in your doorway with nothing more than your boxers on, I’m not sure I want to know what you were doing.” Connor tried not to laugh, but it was almost impossible not to at the sight before him.

  Looking down, Braxton stepped behind the door, letting Connor in.

  “You okay, man?”

  “Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?”

  “You missed school yesterday and then, you didn’t show up for class this morning.”

  Braxton checked the time, two in the afternoon, ran his hand through his hair and moved to the bed to sit on the edge. He had slept all day the day before and all night and now part of this day. He had to snap out of it. He knew he needed to, it just wasn’t as easily done as it was said.

  “I just needed a break to regroup. I’m fine.”

  “It’s her, isn’t it?”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “Allie. Don’t play dumb with me.” Braxton sent a glare at his friend even though he knew that Connor was right, he was playing dumb. “Wanna talk about it?”

  “Not really.”

  “Okay, well, I’m going to head out for some lunch. You can come with if you want, but where I’m going requires pants.”

  Braxton smiled at that then threw his pillow at his friend’s retreating back. As Connor opened the door to leave, Braxton called his name.

  “Give me just a minute to get dressed, will ya?”

  “I’ll wait for you at the truck.”

  Braxton’s mind was racing with so many unanswered questions. He had never felt depressed before, but he was sure that’s what it was now and it wasn’t something he wanted to get used to. There wasn’t much he could do about it, though. Allie’s cold demeanor and harsh words cut him like a knife. He had left with his tail between his legs and no idea of how to even begin to fix this, if there even was a way. When you don’t know the problem, how do you find the right answer? Whatever was going on with Allie, it definitely wasn’t good. He’d wager to say it was most likely devastating.

  Connor snapping his fingers brought Braxton’s attention back to his surroundings.

  “You gonna keep zoning out on me?”

  “I’m sorry, man. Just got a lot on my mind.”

  “What happened in California?”

  Braxton debated on telling his friend. He sure didn’t want to come across as a wuss, but he wanted to tell someone. He explained everything that happened from the time he arrived to the time he left, feeling more hopeless than he did before.

  “Look man, I know you like this girl--,”

  “Love her, I love her. This goes way beyond just liking her.”

  “Okay, I know you love her, but you don’t need that kind of burden. She doesn’t want you to know what’s going on, and obviously she has no intentions of telling you or letting you help. That’s a little cold hearted to do to someone you say is your best friend. Was she ever really even that?”

  “You don’t know her! You don’t know our relationship,” Braxton slammed his hand down on the table top, his frustration and anger getting the best of him.

  “And apparently, neither do you.”

  Braxton saw red. He quickly stood up, knocking the chair over as he did. The loud crack caused every head to turn in their direction. Fist balled tight, anger coursed through his veins. He needed to leave before he did something stupid, like cold clocking Connor right in the kisser. He swiftly moved to the front door and pushed it open with enough force to cause it to hit against the brick wall of the building. He passed the truck, crossed the street without even looking, and didn’t stop until he was halfway across the field in front of him.

  “Braxton!”

  He didn’t turn around, he knew Connor was right, at least partly. That’s what angered him the most. He didn’t know her as he once did, and he didn’t know what their relationship was now, if there was one at all. The truth of that hit him like an ice cold wind, taking the very breath from his lungs.

  “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.”

  Turning around to face his friend, he knew he looked just like he felt, a defeated, desperate man. It had to have been written in his expression. Connor only showed sympathy, as if maybe he understood what Braxton was going through.

  “You’re right.” His words came out more of whisper and barely audible even to his own ears. He hated admitting that aloud.

  “No, I wasn’t. I don’t know her, and I don’t know everything about you two, but what I do know is that you love her, and I shouldn’t have said what I did.”

  “Sad part is, I don’t know who she is anymore. I was afraid of this happening. Afraid of losing her, but this wasn’t how I thought it would happen. I thought that if I told her how I felt, that’s what would cause her to run as fast as she could away from me. Turns out, she was half way out the door and running already.”

  “Brax, I’m sure that’s not the case. There’s got to be more to it. If you were as close as you say you were, then I don’t see her just turning her back on you like that. Girls live for that mushy stuff.”

  “I don’t know what to do.”

  “Just give her time. She’ll come around.”

  “Time; that’s what my dad says, too. I hope you’re right.”

  That was the only option left that he could do, give her time. He would always be there waiting, ready to catch her if she fell, it just made it much harder to do now that the terms of their friendship had shifted into an awkward direction. He’d like to say that he would wait for her to text him, or call, but he knew that he wouldn’t be able to wait that out. He needed her to know that no matter what she did or said, he would always be there for her. Always waiting with open arms.

  ∞ Chapter 7 ∞

  The days had passed relatively quickly and Thanksgiving week was upon them. The weather had turned to rather comfortable temperatures during the day and crisp at night. Braxton had packed his belongings and was ready to make the trip back to Gardendale.

  He hadn’t talked much to Allie since their falling out a few weeks ago. For the most part, he left her alone, only texting her a few times to make sure she was still breathing. As it had been of late, the few times she answered him were much of the same ‘I’m fine’ responses. Braxton’s heart was as heavy as a three ton truck, weighed down with emotions he didn’t know how to deal with, problems he didn’t know how to solve, and worry that wouldn’t fade. It was extremely unsettling for someone, who held as much confidence as he once had.

  With the truck loaded. Braxton started the engine and backed out. The windows were down and the cool air blew through the cab as he headed home for the holiday. His nerves were on overdrive. He wasn’t completely sure that Allie was coming home, but he hoped that she would. Even with all the distance between them and the turmoil in their friendship right now, he still longed to see her. Maybe being home would help bring back a little of her former self. Who knows, he may even be able to convince her to open up to him. They used to tell each other everything, be each other’s support system. There was only one thing for him to do; pray that she came home and she wouldn’t continue to shut him out.

  A rental car was in the drive way of her house when Braxton passed by.

  Allie. It had to be her.

  His truck’s tires threw gravel as he veered off the road. Jerking the wheel to the left, he guided the truck back onto the pavement. So many emotions were coursing through him knowing that she was home. It would only be a matter of time before they ran int
o each other. What should have excited him, only scared him to his very core. Their family and friends were bound to notice the tension between them. How would they explain that? Would he have to pretend there was nothing wrong? Acting wasn’t his strong point, he wore his heart on his sleeve most of the time and was pretty positive any sort of pretending on his part would fall extremely to the wayside.

  Zak wasn’t at home when Braxton arrived. He unloaded his suitcase and carried it to the front porch. Setting everything down, he fished the keys out of his pocket. He must have thoughtlessly stuck them in there, considering his mind was anywhere but on the present. He unlocked the door and carried his belongings to his room. He didn’t bother unpacking, instead he made his way back down the hall to the kitchen. Popping a frozen dinner in the microwave, he set the time as he heard the front door open.

  “Braxton?”

  “In the kitchen, Dad.”

  Zak embraced his son, “Welcome home.”

  “Thanks. It’s good to be home.”

  “Have you seen Allie yet?”

  Braxton spun toward the microwave so that his face was hidden from his dad. He knew his expression would give him away.

  “I saw her rental car in the drive way when I passed, but I haven’t seen her. I just got here a few minutes before you did.”

  Luckily, Braxton didn’t hear the shakiness in voice he thought would be there. Lord knows his insides were shaking enough, then again, he did answer truthfully.

  “Shane invited us over for dinner tonight. And--” Zak hesitated. Braxton was aware there was something his dad wanted to tell him, he seemed nervous about this news so Braxton turned and gave him his full attention. “There’s someone I want you to meet.”

  The color that filled Zak’s cheek gave away the fact that this wasn’t just some buddy of his. Shocked, it took Braxton a minute to gain his composure, “Who is she?”

  He knew his dad would think he would be upset by this kind of news, but the truth was, Braxton knew his dad was lonely. With him away at college, Zak spent a lot of his time working, and when he wasn’t at work, he was either by himself or with Shane and Amy.

  “Her name is Hannah. I met her shortly after you returned to school. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about her before, it’s just I wanted to wait to see where it would go.”

  “Dad, you don’t have to explain anything to me. I want you to know that I want you to be happy. If I have done something to make you think otherwise, then I’m sorry.”

  “Oh no, you haven’t. You’re too much like your mom for that.” Zak’s smile matched Braxton’s at the mention of Anna.

  “So, tell me about her.”

  Zak joined Braxton at the table and told him all about Hannah. He had met her at a jobsite. Her boss would be out of town during the build and had left her in charge of making sure everything went smoothly. There was something about her that stirred his insides and so he had asked her out for dinner that very first day. Since then, things had progressed and they were officially dating. Braxton realized just how much his dad was into Hannah as he animatedly described her to him. Long brown hair, slender frame, and big blue eyes that you could see forever in. Braxton couldn’t help but laugh when Zak explained that she was several inches shorter than him and it made sneaking kisses a little difficult to manage. He could picture his dad acting like a teenager desperately trying not to get caught by his parents. He was glad to see life come back into Zak’s eyes. If anyone deserved happiness, it was this man; the man who took him in and never let him go, even after the death of his mom.

  The ride over to Allie’s was short, but in Braxton’s racing mind, it seemed to take forever to get there. He almost laughed at himself. He’d never been through this before and it seemed like lately it had become all he ever did. He was nervous, his palms were slick with sweat, and his heart seemed to skip several beats as if it were having to restart itself every few seconds. Not sure if he was ready for the challenge, if there would be one. Acting as if all was well, he debated making up an excuse to go back home and skip this. However, knowing his dad wanted him to meet Hannah stopped him from backing out. That was important to his dad so he would suck it up and deal with whatever came his way.

  When they arrived, Zak knocked on the door. Braxton stood there like a fool when it swung open and standing there slightly behind the door was Allie. More beautiful than he had ever seen her, yet surrounded by a sadness, a black cloud if you will, that seemed to have a life of its own.

  They both entered the house and Braxton heard the click of the door behind him. He turned to face his best friend, but she wasn’t there. Looking down the hallway, he could see her retreating back just as she disappeared into her room. All hope of things going back to normal crumbled at the sound of door closing, shutting him out once again. A hand softly landed on his shoulder and he looked back to see his dad’s worried face staring back at him.

  “Everything okay?”

  “Yeah.” Braxton didn’t know how else to answer that. He knew it wasn’t okay, nothing had been for a while with them, but he wasn’t quite sure what was wrong. Living this nightmare became the new normal for him. He didn’t want to have to make excuses, nor did he want to lie so it was best to keep the answer simple.

  “Come on, I want you to meet Hannah.”

  Braxton smiled what he hoped came across as a real smile. He was indeed curious to meet the woman who had apparently stolen his dad’s heart. He followed Zak into the living room. There, next to Amy was a short, but beautiful woman. Braxton knew instantly this was Hannah, his dad had described her perfectly. Although she looked nothing like his mother, he could see how she had grabbed his dad’s attention and held it.

  “Braxton, this is Hannah. Hannah, this is my son, Braxton.”

  Instead of the normal handshake, Hannah leaned in and gave Braxton a hug. Her southern accent was strong as she said, “It’s so nice to finally meet you. Your dad has told me a lot about you.”

  Braxton returned the hug, “It’s nice to meet you, too.”

  The three took a seat on the couch. They talked until Amy announced dinner was ready. Braxton really liked Hannah. She was sweet and brought so much joy to his dad’s life. That was visible in just the short time he spent with her. It had been a long while since he’d seen his dad so enthusiastic. For his dad, he was happy, for himself, he could only wish to be as lucky.

  Amy yelled down the hallway for Allie. She appeared a few moments later, her eyes were red but he wasn’t sure if it was from crying or if she’d been sleeping. He hoped it was the latter. He didn’t like feeling helpless. He’d always taken care of her, he wanted to still, and it broke him that she wouldn’t let him. Love does strange things to you, and when you’re left guessing, it can literally tear you down piece by piece. There had to be a way to break through the hard exterior wall Allie had put up between them. Some way, he’d find out just how to break through.

  Allie didn’t say much during dinner, but Braxton noticed every time her eyes moved in his direction. He didn’t let on that he saw her. That had to mean something, maybe she wasn’t wanting to shut him out. Maybe, just maybe, she wanted to let him in. After dinner, he planned to find out. As it turned out, Allie gave him the perfect opportunity. He quietly followed her outside into the dark night. The backyard illuminated by a single light attached to the right corner of the house. She was standing in the shadows, head down, shoulders slumped.

  Braxton thought he could see the weight of the world sitting on her shoulders. He wanted to be her superman, to lift the weight, the burden of whatever she was carrying alone, and toss it to the four winds. He stepped to the edge of the light, “Allie?”

  ∞ Chapter 8 ∞

  “Hey, Brax.”

  Braxton couldn’t help, but notice the sadness in her voice. He pushed his hands deep inside of his pockets to keep from reaching out for her. He wasn’t going to chance the rejection of a move once so familiar to them. “Are you okay?”

 
“I don’t know, but this isn’t your fight, Braxton.”

  He couldn’t help, but to feel the deep stab of her statement. A dagger that inflicted his heart with a pain so severe it nearly crumbled him where he stood. He moved his hand to his chest, rubbing at the invisible mark she’d left. Even with him offering her comfort in the quiet shadows and solace of her own backyard, she was going to keep him locked firmly on the other side of her protective barrier. He looked toward the ground, thankful for the night that hid his eyes from her, his pain pooling into liquid in his eyes unseen.

  He took a shallow breath, slowly rubbed his hands over his face, wiping away any evidence of the hurt he felt, then brought his eyes back up to her. She was still facing away from him. He waited her out, wanted her to turn around and face him. He soon realized that wasn’t going to happen.

  “I’m sorry. If there were some way I could help you, I would. I hope you know that.”

  Allie turned to face him, her eyes connecting with his. She kept her emotions hidden well, but Braxton saw through her. He saw the fear, hurt, anger, and worry she was desperately trying to hide from everyone. He’d known her far too well and for too long not to notice. It was the reasoning that he was missing. What could have possibly caused this in her life, and what could be so bad that she wouldn’t share it with him? He seemed to be fighting a losing battle and with what dignity he had left, he turned back toward the house.

  “Braxton?” Her voice was meek, but he heard her. He looked over his shoulder, a questioning look in his eyes. “I’m sorry, too. I’ve just had a hard time adjusting to school. It’s overwhelming and I feel lost.”

  Slowly, he walked to where she was standing, stopping a breath away from her. As much as he wanted to believe her, he felt deep down there was more to it, but for now, he’d settle for this. It was a starting point at least. He moved carefully, deliberately, placing his hands on her shoulders. Allie took the final step into him, wrapping her arms around him. Braxton let out a relieved breath and engulfed her in his arms, pulling her close. All seemed right in the world, in this moment with her in his arms. He knew everything was far from right, but he would hold on to this for as long it would last.